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Dad, Mom, and baby Meghan

Dad, Mom, and baby Meghan

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Monday, February 22, 2010

Does anyone truly listen when we advocate for our children?

Yesterday I was part of a huge battle; a battle for the dignity of my three youngest daughters . It took place on Facebook and was waged against a group of teenagers who felt it was extremely witty to ridicule people with Down syndrome and other people with disabilities as well as liberal use of the N word and R word over and over again, some of their posts were depraved, sexual content, pornography, everything a parent would be proud to see I am sure.... They also copied pictures of people with Down syndrome off of every site they could and posted them, making fun of them. It wrenched my heart and offended me.

The problem with Facebook or any other social network is a persons ability to open a new account within minutes. Parents and friends of people insulted reported each racist and bigoted post this group made, and while one group would get shut down, these poor misguided and very hateful children would open another, bragging that no one would stop them from doing what they wanted. However, their identities could not escape the parents of the children they maligned, and they have had to face the consequences of their actions. A lesson we all need to learn I suppose, there is no such thing as anonymity while you are on-line. I do not think for a minute that they will be miraculously healed of their hateful bigoted attitudes. But maybe, just maybe this will make them think...

I went to bed with tears in my eyes, soul weary, just so sad, I am tired of fighting ignorance, hatefulness, bigotry, and stupidity. I want the world to be a fair place with total equality for every human being, I want something the human race is incapable of.

I woke up and believed today will be a better day, and then read about this:

In part it said:
State Delegate Bob Marshall of Manassas says disabled children are God's punishment to women who have aborted their first pregnancy.

He made that statement Thursday at a press conference to oppose state funding for Planned Parenthood.

"The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children," said Marshall, a Republican.

Another slant on the whole "Having this child has to be your fault" belief system, I have to say, their God is not mine, He does not punish anyone, let alone my innocent children. I am not going into the whole abortion issue, which is why he talked about this in the first place, I believe he is making a preposterous statement to get a knee jerk reaction, rather like the children on Facebook yesterday.

Truly, I suppose no one is without sin, I know that when Meghan was born an ill-advised Christian friend said to me;"You must have committed a terrible sin to be cursed with a Down syndrome baby". I was floored and sadly that ended our relationship.

Yes, it is not easy to hear your baby has Down syndrome, though my pain in hearing about my daughter was not that she was born with Down syndrome, it was the sadness knowing she would not be treated like a whole person by the majority of the world, that people would veer away from her and hateful misguided people would try to hurt her. We hurt that which we do not understand.

I look at my youngest three and see whole children, just as HF wanted them. I have never met a perfect child, all of them have different issues and quirks that make them uniquely them, but I think I have begun to live in a bubble, a bubble I created to block out a world that cannot and will not see the beauty my girls possess. I surround myself with friends who also have children with Down syndrome and subconsciously avoid others. The few people I let into my bubble have to love and accept my girls too. The others have the door shut in their face, I have no room in my life for people who carry hatred in their hearts.

How far is too far to protect our children? They have to live in the world too, to be a part of this imperfect and sometimes cruel world, where do we find balance in a imbalanced society? Honestly, I do not have an answer to that question, but I will be praying and dreaming about this for a long time, to try to find a solution that will work best for us.

Will you pray too?


Tara said...

I missed the fb drama and I'm so glad I did. I'm reminded of the scripture that tell us "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." (Gal. 6:9 NKJ) Hang in there! All is not lost. I spoke to the youth at church last night about the r-word and they were so open and responsive. Gives me hope.

GoldenAngelsWorks said...

So sorry that this all went on. Every child is made special in God's sight... after all they were created by God and in His likeness!!!

carol said...

I am so sorry you had to deal with people that dont understand what it mean to have a child with special needs. I know all of us that have special needs children feel blessed. They have no idea what they are missing. When my daughter was born with special needs we got alot of stares and people whispering. Then one lady came up to me a gave me a big hug and said God knew what he was doing giving you this child. He knew you would love her and watch over her.
She is my shining light. I feel so blessed to call her my daughter.I am the lucky one to have her in my life.
carol n

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