The dog ate my ...dishwasher

The thrill of getting new appliances, nothing beats it, right, strolling through a showroom full of gleaming stoves, refrigerators, dishwashers.

It does not take long for a salesman to find you, a millisecond? They work on commission, so they are highly motivated to be helpful. You tell them you need three appliances to replace yours, which you had 12 years, and well, they used to work better and look better. He tries not to look too eager, a practiced professionalism as he shows you THE MOST EXPENSIVE appliances in the entire room. Go for broke, why not.

We go from one to another, hearing why the elite is so much better than the others, better features. Things you really do not need, but they sure are nifty. Then the first time emotion to shows on his face is when you say, "We actually do not need all these features" and he sees his commission decrease...resignedly he shows you the appliances that are a step down from the elite, and you finally make your way to the dishwashers, you know you want stainless steel interior, and that is about it.

You find the color you want, the style (buttons on top to prevent curious fingers from turning it off before it is done) and you go to pay. Happily he tells you "These prices are only good today, tomorrow they all go back to normal" The tail end of The Presidents Day sale. So you take care of the money and arrange delivery, The refrigerator cannot be delivered until the middle of the month, back-ordered. The stove and dishwasher will come the following Monday.

The salesman gives you his card with his cell phone number on it, he tells you to call him if you have any problems.

Husband buys a kit for the refrigerator because you finally are getting an ice dispenser, something that will make a certain 11 year old happier than she should be over something so mundane, and husband installs it. You pull out and clean under everything in preparation for the shiny new appliances. You get a call from the delivery man, they can be there between 3-5. They get here at 4:45.

They haul your old stove away while you sing Hallelujah, dumb stove either did not work or burned everything. Your husband told Sears he wants to install the dishwasher because they charge too much. So they leave it outside, in your back yard.

Your 6 month old Chocolate Lab has been her crate the entire time the deliverymen are here, when they leave, you let her out. She needs to go outside, so you let her out the back door.

She is very interested in the huge cardboard box sitting on your back porch. She wonders what it may taste like? She takes a bite, and you tell her NO, she saunters away, acting disinterested.

You take a load of laundry out to the washer and she has gone back to her huge present and ripped a piece of cardboard off. You tell her no, and she goes to lie down. You spray dog repellent on the box.

An hour later you walk back outside and see white insulation and cardboard all over the patio. You catch very bad dog yanking on the drainage hose. She sees you and crawls to your feet, you tell her "Lola, to your crate now" and she runs in and lies down, staring up at you with her golden-brown eyes, looking very sad.

You look at the drainage hose, there are holes in it, can it be patched?

Husband comes home, you show him what dog has done, he tries hard to control his anger, not certain if he is mad at the dog or his wife?

You call Sears 800# and ask about replacement hose, tell them about the dog, they laugh and say "Oh yes, we had a Lab once" they transfer you to warranty dept, you tell them about the dog, more laughter, the hose is not covered by the warranty, it does not cover dogs. They transfer you to Sears Dept Store who say they have replacement hoses for about $20. You warn them husband is not happy and to expect a graying man with a scowl on his face.

Husband rushes to Sears before they close, wanting dishwasher installed ASAP, and is welcomed by appliance manager who addresses him by name. Husband does not know you told manager to expect him. He is surprised he knows his name.

Email receipt says husband has bought hose and the garbage disposal kit which the deliverymen forgot. They do not charge him for the kit, since it was paid for already.

Husband comes home and tries to put hose on, it kinks, it will not work. Husband gives up. Goes to bed.

The next few days husband attempts to patch hose, all attempts fail.

You go on website to order replacement hose, with shipping it will be $50. You call the salesman who gave you his cell phone number and tell him what happened with dishwasher, and he laughs, you are getting weary of folks thinking this is funny.

You ask him if Sears can order part so you can avoid shipping, he is not sure they can, and hangs up to ask the department manager. 30 minutes later he calls to say yes, they can order it, and no, there is no charge. He laughs and tells you:

"We love dogs, and we have all had something like that happen".

The part will not come until your new refrigerator is delivered.

At least the part is free.

The guilty party.