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Dad, Mom, and baby Meghan

Dad, Mom, and baby Meghan

Meghan through the years

Meghan's age

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Trisomy 21 trio of cuties

10 Things Every Child with Autism Wishes you knew

Saturday, October 10, 2009

31 for 21 day 10-Down syndrome and therapy

Now I have posted every day, I just forgot to tag the posts, so does it still count? I hope so :o)

Ever have one of those weeks, it was good busy, with a birthday celebration, but also stressful, as we had some issues with a therapist and they were resolved by returning to the previous therapist (her supervisor actually). Therapists mean a lot to our family, but they also need to meld with us and sometimes they clash, as was the case with the one that has been replaced. I hate confrontations, altercations, or any drama in my life, but I guess there is a time and place for it. I am cautiously optimistic that things will get better.

Having a child with Down syndrome is such a wonderful blessing, and it is also challenging, especially when you multiply x3. Sometimes I wish therapists were not part of our lives at all, but then we would never have met some very special ladies, and we do care for most of them. The others we tolerated and finally had to let them go. I should really say I tolerated, because Tom never met some of them.

When we welcome someone into our home to work with our children, we need to trust they have their best interests of our children in mind. The manner in which they speak to, react to, and teach our children is important, now with all three girls here, they tend to “interfere” with the therapist working with a sibling by touching hair, sitting in laps, hugging or otherwise getting in the way. The therapists I respect are those who work around and with my other two girls, those that say, “I am busy, this is not for you, please stop touching me”, or anything similar already lose points with me, and I do keep track, my girls are too important to let these things go. I do what I can to keep the other two busy, but they are curious about what is happening and other therapists allow them to participate, so they think all of them will do the same.

Another pet peeve I have are childless therapists trying to talk about parenting, if you have never been a parent, you can stop talking. I will also say, if you have just one child, you have no idea what it is like to have two, or three, or in my case eight. I suppose the unfortunate therapists have enough of children working with them all day, but it makes me feel conflicted when they say they never want kids, why then do they want to work WITH them?

Additionally, if the therapist only sees the part of my child they are working on, say feeding therapy, but does not consider the WHOLE child, they lose even more points with me. Children, like adults, are multifaceted; you simply cannot ignore everything else to work on one thing. My adopted girls have many issues from being in orphanages, they have trust issues and it is something we try to build up every day, one bad day with a haughty or indifferent therapist sets them back for weeks. We are still bonding with our littlest girls, I will not allow someone with a checklist, and agenda, jeopardize our progress with them. Their emotional health is very important to me. Meghan also cannot tolerate detached therapists, she knows right away if they are not sincere. She can be a stinker with the ones she loves too, she has had too many years of therapy, and admittedly knows all the buttons to push when she chooses to…

Finally, when I feel the therapist is merely collecting a paycheck and does not care for my girls, it is time for them to go. Professionalism to them means remaining aloof and feigning cheerfulness when they work with my children. It is painfully obvious that they have no emotional investment in what they are doing. I do not want people like near my children, however genuine people with kind hearts and caring attitudes are welcome.

1 comment:

MysticBlueRose said...

I agree with your point about childless people (any career path) telling people with 2/4/6/8/12 children "how to parent". The one time DHS was in our life because of a church who called them when our son hit his head on the end of the couch, our DHS worker was childless and although she had a whole lot more book knowledge than I did, at that point I had 17 more years of child rearing knowledge than she did, hands on. But none of my "knowledge" mattered, only hers. Frustrating TO THE MAX. May you and your girls find the RIGHT therapist for you!!!

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